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Two weeks ago our church had the privilege of ordaining Eric Hall as an Elder.  Getting to know him this past year has been a joy and a sharpening experience for me.  He wrote the following to encourage our CBC members to get engaged in genuine accountability using the avenues the church is providing, namely Gospel Life Groups (GLGs) and Disciple-Making Disciple Groups (DMDs).  Read and seek grace to heed!

“You have about as much of God as you want to have.”  What a piercing quote.  And it’s true.  This is never more fleshed out than in DMDs.  When you commit to spending time with others and doing life deeply with one another you will have your half-heartedness exposed.  Another similar truth: “You have about as much accountability as you want to have.”

So who is your accountability up to?  We want to quote Biblical phrases like “brother’s keeper” and say it’s up to someone else to hold me accountable.  There are elements of truth in that.  But the reality is that it is up to you to confess your sins one to another.  You have a command to confess.  You brother doesn’t have a command to make you confess.

James 5:16

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Proverbs 28:13

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

We do not like to confess our sins, do we?  We especially don’t like to be prodded to confess our sins.  But isn’t this precisely what we need if we are to have more of God?  That’s the goal, right?  More of God, more of God, more of God.  And if I can have more of Him, be closer to Him, love Him more I want to do it.  Even if it means gouging out an eye.  I esteem that it is better to have no eyes at all and see God better than it is to have eyes and be blinded to Him.

I remember back in college when I was asked to join an accountability group by a close friend.  To which I replied, “why?”  I didn’t see the importance of “confessing sins one to another”.  And I wouldn’t have had a clue what kind of questions to ask by accountability partners to help them get closer to Jesus.  Maybe you’re in a similar place.  You’ve been told DMDs are crucial and will bring you closer to Jesus.  You’ve been told that you’ll get to know each other, spend time in the word together, pray together, and ask hard questions to each other.  But, like me, you don’t know what a helpful question would look like let alone a hard one.

Below are some helpful questions.  The truth is you can do a quick Google search for accountability questions and come up with 100 in just a few minutes.  My goal is that you’d take some of these and then eventually write some of your own.

What is God teaching you recently?

What sins has God exposed in you this week?

Who or what have you sacrificed for recently?

How have you sacrificed for your wife recently?

How have you sacrificed for your wife recently other than working hard at your job?

How have you put your wive’s needs above your own?

How have you put your children’s needs above your own?

John and Charles Wesley had DMDs way back in the 1700s.  Check out this list of questions they would ask to each member before they let you join a group.  Then below that is a list of questions they would ask once you’ve committed to the group.  It’s helpful to me to see the rugged men of old taking accountability deadly serious.  Why it’s almost as if they believed God that confessing is required for mercy!

Some of the questions proposed to every one before he is admitted among us may be to this effect:-

1. Have you the forgiveness of your sins?

2. Have you peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ?

3. Have you the witness of God's Spirit with your spirit, that you are a child of God?

4. Is the love of God shed abroad in your heart?

5. Has no sin, inward or outward, dominion over you?

6. Do you desire to be told your faults?

7. Do you desire to be told of all your faults, and that plain and home?

8. Do you desire that every one of us should tell you, from time to time, whatsoever is in his heart concerning you?

9. Consider! Do you desire we should tell you whatsoever we think, whatsoever we fear, whatsoever we hear, concerning you?

10. Do you desire that, in doing this, we should come as close as possible, that we should cut to the quick, and search your heart to the bottom?

11. Is it your desire and design to be on this, and all other occasions, entirely open, so as to speak everything that is in your heart without exception, without disguise, and without reserve?

Notice a pattern with those last 5 questions?  Our commitment to ourselves is very high, and if we are given any opportunity to hide our sin or call it less than completely evil we will take it.  We are not so rugged or radical as they.  But ask yourself, “do I want this sin exposed for what it is or do I want it kept secret?  Do I want to confess it and admit I need God’s power to master it or would I rather try to get over it on my own?”

I’m proud [in the best sense of the word] of you men and women in DMDs who are driving a stake through the heart of your pride and are beating your chest like the publican begging for mercy, admitting you're messed up, and finding “grace for help in the time of need.”

Here are some other questions to get you started in collecting and writing some for your DMD:

John Wesley:

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?

2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?

3. Do I confidentially pass onto another what was told me in confidence?

4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work , or habits?

5. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?

6. Did the Bible live in me today?

7. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?

8. Am I enjoying prayer?

9. When did I last speak to someone about my faith?

10. Do I pray about the money I spend?

11. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?

12. Do I disobey God in anything?

13. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?

14. Am I defeated in any part of my life?

15. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?

16. How do I spend my spare time?

17. Am I proud?

18. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisee who despised the publican?

19. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I going to do about it?

20. Do I grumble and complain constantly?

21. Is Christ real to me?

Wesley’s Band Meeting Questions:

1. What known sins have you committed since our last meeting?

2. What temptations have you met with?

3. How were you delivered?

4. What have you thought, said, or done, of which you doubt whether it be sin or not?

5. Have you nothing you desire to keep secret?

Various modern resources:

1. Do you like the person you are becoming?
2. Is your heart for God shrinking or growing?
3. Are you giving your family only your emotional table scraps?
4. Have you done anything that compromised your integrity with the opposite sex?
5. Have you compromised your integrity with finances?
6. Have you done your 100% best in your job, school, etc.?
7. Are you faithfully involved with worship and service?
8. Is your pace of life sustainable?
9. Have you allowed a person or circumstance to rob you of joy?
10. Are you taking care of your body through physical exercise, proper eating and sleeping habits?
11. Have you told any half-truths, or outright lies, putting yourself in a better light to those around you?
12. Have you lied on any of your answers with me?