Instructions...would have been better
So....I just recently downloaded a lingo game on my kindle. I flipped through all the screens that gave instructions. I mean i have watched it on tv. So...who needs instructions. Well, four games later, all in the loser column, I read the instructions. Glory. .I have won a few.
Just recently, I was counseling with Pastor Keith when he opened the Bible to read. (We actually do that when we counsel). He went to 1 Thessalonians 5:14 It says this:
"And we urge you brothers..warn those who are idle. Encourage the fainthearted. Help the weak. Be patient with everyone." A set of instructions. A set of instructions so easy but so often overlooked in the area of relationship.
Over the past several weeks, I have had occasion to hear many women making relational connections. This happens everyday. And with the advent of social media, it is even more regular than face to face or phone. That being said the way we relate to one another Should be just as biblical as God expected the young church to be, no matter what medium.
So..what instructions does he give. Warn the idle. Encourage the fainthearted..help the weak. Clearly good communication starts with identifying what is happening in the life of the lady you are communicating with. For example, let's say you see a post on facebook that is talking about a self help book or a pschyatrist doctor or psychic and the post is made by a christian lady. First tendency i have is to shut that down. Warn her about the dangers of that stuff. Tell her to trust in Jesus alone. Say I do that and she resists...tells me she was just looking for hope. What do i know now that 1 Thess. Clearly tells me. I know i need to encourage her. She is fainthearted. There will be a time for that warning but right now I must encourage her. Give her the hope of Jesus who is her only hope. Teach her how to apply the gospel again to her hurt.
What about a momma who posts that she has had it. She is fed up with mothering...wants to do something that matters. How do we address that? Well, sounds like she is pretty fainthearted. .tired..discouraged...beat up. Probably doesn't need me to beat her. I wonder if i could help her. Can I do something to relieve her load because correcting her without any practical help will not ease her burden and will likely add to it. She is weak...fainthearted. She needs practcal hands on help.
How do I know when to admonish then? Look and listen. Listen for patterns of behaviour. Are they consistently sinkng in this particular way without remorse? Are they proud and arrogant in their sin? If you can honestly answer yes to these two questions...you may want to approach with warning. I suggest you go prepared to share the bible with them. The Bible is a two edged sword and pierces all the way to the marrow. Perhaps if we would use it in correction more...we would be heard more.
Another thing to check before you admonish or warn is simply asking if that lady is in accountability with another christian already. If she is..trust the Holy Spirit to work through her and wait.
Another cautiin is this...if you are in the habit of only obeying that first instruction of warning the idle but you never encourage and never help...you are out of balance. When I say this to women I hear back.." well, God just made me that way. I say what I mean. I am ditect and forthright. God understands that." I hear this and similar statements as reasons why women are hurting other women with harsh correction. Think on this...Galatians says to say all things with gentleness. No exceptions or excuses. Do you correct with gentleness? Would God ask you to do sonething he would not empower you to do? Speak truth..by all means. But do it in love and gentleness. And walk this in balance. Correction should be a very small part of everyday relationship. Encouragement and help are the main bulk of how we should be communicating with each other.
The last but most importabt thing i must say is this: to correct before you pray is sinful. The only perfect person is God. He is the only one with no agenda...no heart issues...no selfishness. To correct without praying first suggests that you do not need God or his wisdom. You do not need him to search your own heart or to clean the log out of your own eye first. That is pride and pride.. ladies..goes before a fall. If you are correcting each other without praying..do not be surprised when relationships fail. I am guilty of this. So guilty. And it causes so much harm. I beg you seek God's face BEFORE you admonish.
So...admonish the idle...encourage the fainthearted...help the weak and BE PATIENT WITH EVERYONE. i have much praying to do about how i relate. Thank God for amazing grace.