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The first of the "Big Seven" issues that contribute either to marital bliss or discord concerns the Doctrine of Sin.  Since I have dealt with this doctrine pretty thoroughly in past posts, let me just summarize here:

The Doctrine of Sin rests on a concept known in theological parlance as Total Depravity.  By this we do not mean that every person is as wicked as he or she possibly could be.  That would be a horrific world in which to live!  Rather, total depravity simple refers to the Bible's teaching that since sin entered the human race by Adam's fall, humans have been rendered slaves to sin's domination.  That is, sin resides within us, in our natures, and impacts every single part of us.  Sin is ever-present with us, and its power over us is far too strong for us to defeat or even fight in our own strength.  When Adam sinned, mankind lost freedom to serve God without the taint of sin.  We literally, in our lost, spiritually dead condition, cannot not sin (bad grammar, but biblically true).  If you need to brush up on what God says about sin and its devastating effects on all of us, review Genesis 6:5; Psalm 51:5; 130:3; Isaiah 59:1-8; Jeremiah 13:23; 17:9; Mark 7; Romans 3:1-23.

When Jesus saves us, He begins to restore that measure of freedom we lost in Adam.  The Holy Spirit's power in our lives begins to enable us to fight the sinful desires and serve and obey the Lord.  This process of Spirit-fueled growth in holiness is called Sanctification.  In this life, though, even for the saved, sin's presence and power remains (see Romans 7; 1 John 1:7-10).  Sanctification will not be fully completed until Jesus gives His followers their glorified resurrected bodies (1 Cor 15:42-58).  Until then, there's a war within Christians, and thank God He gives us power to be a warrior against the enslaving power of sin (Gal 5; Col 3).

So, what does all this have to do with marriage?  Well, lots.  Knowing that even as Christians there remains a "beast within" called sin should change everything about how we view ourselves and our spouses.  The believer in Christ is called and enabled by grace to fight and mortify sinful desires daily, and to pursue Christ-likeness (Rom 8; Eph 4; Col 3).  When I teach on this topic, I like to summarize the principles of so many biblical texts aimed at exhorting Christians to "walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh" with these words:

DO NOT FEED THE BEAST!

Knowing that sin's presence and power are still very real ought to spur us as husbands and wives to exercise extreme care with certain areas of our lives.  Let me point out two main areas where we must apply this principle to married life:

1. Technology.  Email, Facebook, the internet, cell phones, and texting are all morally neutral.  They can and should be used for God's glory.  But the beast within us will abuse God's good gifts and pervert them every single time if given half a chance.  Thus, the proliferation of internet porn and sexting.  But friends, let's get real.  There are way too many flirtatious texts, emails and FB messages flying around - sent by married Christians to someone other than their spouses.  Do you flirt subtly in these ways?  Do you receive flirtatious messages without "unfriending" or rebuking the obviously harmful influence?  What do you do on the internet when all alone?  Please hear God's Word in this matter - stop toying around with sin (Mark 9:42-50).  There is only one way for a Christian to handle sin in his life - kill it (Rom 8:12-13), then cling to Christ.  Install Covenant Eyes internet and email filters.  Make sure your spouse is your FB friend and sees everything you do.  Aggressively invite true Christian accountability into your lives and marriages.  Technology is killing far too many marriages today simply because believers are feeding the beast within.  God give us grace to starve the beast out, even if it means going without technology.
2. Medications.  Pastors are so afraid to touch on this subject, but we are going to have to face the music - American Christians are over-medicated.  Now, I am not a doctor, and cannot tell anyone to stop taking prescribed meds.  But, as a pastor and Bible believer, I can and must tell you to exercise extreme caution with meds.  Avoid them if at all possible.  Minimize them.  Assess your reliance upon them routinely.  Own up to any dependency or addictions you see arising, and get help.  I realize medicine is also a gift of God, but like all other gifts, it can and will be abused by sinners.  The reason I am cautioning you so sternly is obvious, isn't it?  All medicine has side effects, not to mention its primary intended effects.  Some side effects of meds, especially psychiatric drugs, can and will deeply impact your marriage and friendships and all other relations!  The Bible does not paint humans as made up of separate "compartments," but as a unity of body, soul, spirit, mind, emotion, etc.  What impacts one area is bound to spill over into others.  Our sin nature makes us moody enough as it is, dear friends.  Adding meds to the mix far too often simply "feeds the beast."  And, our closest loved ones pay the price.  So, in my own life, I have determined that so long as possible, and with God's empowering grace, I will only use meds sparingly, and when absolutely needed to treat a specific symptom for a specific time period.  Again, I realize there are notable exceptions, but I am speaking in generalities.  Please use extreme caution when taking meds.  Experienced biblical counselors often say the root cause of many psycho-somatic or physical ailments is sin that lurks deep and has not been dealt with by repentance and faith in God's Word.  They have good reason to say such a thing.  Saul's mental and physical woes clearly had spiritual dimensions (1 Sam 16, 19).  Paul also said illness and death was happening in the Church at Corinth due to sin (1 Cor 11:30).  I know this is not always the case (John 9), but it sometimes is the case.  This knowledge from God's Word ought to give all of us pause when considering meds.

So, dear Christians, study long and hard what the Bible says about sin's power and presence.  Determine by God's Spirit and Word to put sin to death in your hearts, and "avoid any appearance of evil" (1 Thess 5:22).  Remember Christ is your wisdom and righteousness and sanctification (1 Cor 1:30).  May sin not find a warm welcome in your lives or marriages, and when it does rear its ugly head, may you confess and repent quickly and press on with renewed loyalty and love for Jesus, the spotless sin-bearer. 

Ultimately, it is sin that destroys marriages and tears apart what God joins to be one.  Oneness cannot be ripped apart without violence, and hurt, and suffering, and pain.  These all result from sin.  Please, dear brothers and sisters, "DO NOT FEED THE BEAST."